Monthly Archives: May 2014

NOW going to bat for protective moms like me

NOW going to bat for protective moms like me

pinterMess gracefulMess

pinterMess gracefulMess What I wouldn’t give for a pedi! Making the best of my low budget, I tried my listerine/vinegar DIY pedi. And while my feet feel soft as a baby’s bottom and smell minty fresh, I had a little trouble with the painting of the toes. You’d think as an artist, I wouldn’t make such a pinterMess!

Wait til you see what the Ottawa County FOC’s been up to…

I am entering, yet again, into another court date on June the 9th.  I have said since last fall that the FOC is going to push this out until the summer and then throw me in jail so that they can justify it without taking my kids out of school.  Guess what June 9 is… Yup!  My kids’ last day of school.  We have more false claims of denial by my ex-husband, who has not paid a dime of support since the last hearing and the FOC has chosen to come after me for not paying $100 for the drug test they helped him fake with no documentation or receipts. (It was paid last week – and I recorded the t  He is approximately $14,000 behind in support but they lowered and backdated his support obligations based not on facts or laws but on the numbers my ex has provided them with.  They have swept $6000 of back childcare under the rug and flat out ignored my receipts for the last two years.  I have filed the motions they’ve said to file, and listened to their lies, watch them change their “policies” with no written documentation, paid for “mediators” who turn out to be FOC lawyers going to bat for Father’s Rights Groups and have come to the conclusion that this is just the FOC allowing my ex-husband to continue his domestic abuse through their system.

They are also holding me in contempt of court for another denial of parenting time – 45 minutes! When my ex-husband refused to get out of the car and show me he was sober…which is his court order to prove sobriety before and during his parenting time.

This last round began in Winter 2013 when I stopped my ex from drinking and driving with my children.  Instead of being applauded for stopping child abuse (see links below), I have been berated, yelled at by an FOC “parent coordinator”, coerced into a voluntary psychological evaluation which I passed with flying colors (a favorite tactic of the Father’s Rights groups) and harassed repeatedly.

I am now posting the transcripts of my hearing that was sent to me by the court transcriptionist to back my claims and make them public.  These are a matter of public record and anyone can obtain a transcript of these hearings.  I’m posting them unaltered because I believe that as tax-payers, you should be aware of what is going on and because I need your support.  I am only one mom, who refuses to be abused and intimidated any longer.  This has gone on for almost five and a half years and I’m tired of the games and lies.  This is my life and the lives of my children they are playing with.  Over this next week, I’ll be posting my documentation so that you can see for yourselves what my children and I have endured.

I am posting a screenshot of my email inbox showing the attached transcripts and how many MB the document is so you can see the only alteration I have made are to remove any personal addresses – for the safety of my family and my ex-husband. And then I’m attaching the actual document of the transcripts that were sent to me. It’s a long read as we were there all day covering 5 different motions.  (they pushed back all of my motions with denials of rulings and postponements.)

This hearing was actually 5 hearings in one. The court refused to rule on January 13, 2014 regarding my ex-husband not taking his drug test as ordered on September 6, 2013 and for not paying child support.  I begged the judge for a ruling on the child support as he hadn’t paid anything since October and I didn’t know what we would do for another 2 months with no money.  His response to me was, “If I ruled today, I would have to put him in jail.  Is that what you want?!”  My response back was, “No.  I just need him to pay his support.”

Please pm me with your thoughts and if you’re able to support us in this fight.

Click here for transcripts fischerf3.14


What is the public’s view of the role of the FOC?


Before I realized I was headed for divorce, I had never heard of Friend of the Court. I was THAT out-of-the-loop on divorce and child custody issues. I kind of heard of them but I really didn’t know who they were or what exactly they did.

I’m curious as to what you think the Friend of the Court is supposed to do for broken families. Please leave a comment or, if you prefer, send me a private message.  There is no right or wrong answer here…just looking for your honest opinion.  I will publish some of the responses (anonymously of course) later this week.

‘Sad Sister’ hits a little too close to home

‘Sad Sister’ hits a little too close to home

gracefulMess Community College

gracefulMess Community College

Today was my first day back to school…again. I was absolutely giddy! It was a gorgeous summer day, our first after the long, dark-night-of-the-soul, polar vortex, never-ending winter of doom and it felt so good! Not just the warmth on my face but on my soul. To be taking control of my future again, albeit on shaky ground and on blind faith, after getting waylaid by health issues and a broken heart two years ago, gave me a new hope that I haven’t felt in a long time. Although I may still go to jail next month (thanks to the court jesters and my ex-husband), I’m stepping towards a bright and sunny new future with less stress and more art. Bring on some more gracefulMess!

Forgive Yourself

Forgive Yourself

Show grace for yourself if you’re moving through gracefulMess. More importantly, show grace for others, knowing that they may be moving through their own gracefulMess that you know nothing about.