This morning, I attempted to start my day centered. As I pried myself from my warm and toasty sack, I was determined to not let stress take over. Turn on the news…Nope! Turn off the news. Ebola freakings are not centering. Ahhhh. Alarm for 5 minute warning of Hooligan’s bus…not centering. Out! Out! Out! Love you, bye! One kid sent out the door. Ahhhh. Lay down for a few minutes before rousing Shenanigan and his morning litany of scientific questions fired at me at the same rate as rounds from an ouzie. I love that he thinks I know the answers to all of these things and I’m sure one day he may be peeved when he finds out most of my answers are made up. Not staying centered. Breathe in. Breathe out. I shall do yoga as soon as he leaves! This will cause some major centering. Wait. Why isn’t he up yet? Is he still too sick that he will be here all day long uncentering me? Get up, Shenanigan. GET UP, Shenanigan. GET UP!!!! Good. He looks fine. Here. Have some zija, let me douse you with essential oils, here’s your shakeology protein shake (please don’t tell him I threw a handful of spinach in there! He can’t tell if he doesn’t see it going in the vitamix!) That oughta do it. 5 minute bus warning alarm…5 minutes to centering. Oh wait. He forgot the <whydidntyoupackitlastnight> book upstairs and the <whocaresgetonthebus> item he wants to share with the teacher…there goes the bus. And…carline. Definitely losing control of this centered morning plan of mine. <heavy sigh>
When I get home, I will gather the growing laundry summit and take it to the laundromat. Dumb washer not washing anyway. Then I’ll get centered. <waittilafterschoolsoyouhavemorehandstoschelplaundry> I’ll diffuse some frankincense to help me get centered. Crap. My new diffuser is not diffusing. Still have the box. Let’s get this wrapped up and ready to send back. Put frankinsense on my wrists and inhale. <thisfrankinsenseworkedforbabyJesusitwillworkformetoo> Almost time to get centered. Find free yoga site. Yes. I’ll take the 19 minute 52 second version today as my tookus still hurts from my first <again> run Saturday. Ahhhh. Namaste. Reaching up, breathe in. Hands to prayer, exhale out. <whatisnamasteanyway> Pause. Look up namaste.
<whatisnamaskar> Look up namaskar.
Indian? <ihateindia> Am I doing some crazy Indian ritual and unknowingly praying to Indian gods like a church lady told me 10 years ago? Am I hurting God’s feelings doing yoga? Maybe I should get centered another way. <iknewsomeonewhowenttoindiaandhewentofftherails> See? Yoga is Indian and India is bad! I should go back to bed. <itprobablywasntindiasfault> The Indian people ARE really cute in their Kurtas and Saris. They probably aren’t all bad. And I know the God I pray to and He centers me. <maybethatswhoyoushouldfocuson> Play. Namaste. Inhale in. Exhale out. I’ll get to my art history paper after this plank…kerplunk. <planksaredumb> And then 3 online quizzes after paper. Warrior Pose. <illmakethosequizzesmybeeotch> Is it time for baby pose yet? Inhale in. Exhale out. Corpse pose. <irockthispose> One more time. Inhale in. Exhale out. Namaste. Namaste beeotch! Centered…ish.