Tag Archives: friend of the court

Update on Brandi…CPS creating false report and Judge Kent Engle talking to witnesses at Center for Women in Transition

Brandi heads to court again Wednesday, January 4, 2017 @ 1:30pm.  This is despite the fact she has filed a motion for Judge Kent Engle to be removed from her case for not following the law, nor the Judicial Code of Conduct.  His hearing is on January 16, 2017 and HE IS THE JUDGE WHO WILL HEAR HIS OWN CASE!

Please be in prayer for this family and that Ottawa County Family Court will be forced to follow the law!


Judge Kent Engle ignores Judicial Code of Conduct

I stopped my ex-husband from drinking and driving with my children during a winter storm warning. He then filed parenting time denial complaints and an investigation was launched. I was coerced by FOC into a psychological evaluation in exchange for a drug test that was already ordered by a magistrate. (which I passed no problem as I knew I would) He ordered this hair follicle drug test to be done at Holland Hospital on September 6, 2013 and results were not given to me until January 2014. The test was seemingly falsified and accepted as evidence by Judge Engle, providing no drug levels/percentages in the supposed results and my ex’s name appeared nowhere on the document.
The children’s father lives with a woman who lost custody in two separate cases of her own four children due to felony child neglect, yet my children have been required to go to their home.
Engle signed subpoenas but did not hold my ex-husband in contempt for not producing his financial records. Later it was found in court documents that Judge Engle accepted an extra $5,000 more than what he said on the record that my ex-husband paid during the court break. Judge Engle also lowered child support so my ex-husband could start his own business, which is not a reason allowable by the law. My ex-husband now only pays sporadically, if at all, after purchasing a home, remodeling it and buying new furniture.
The Judicial Code of Conduct Canon 3A.(5) says “A judge should dispose promptly of the business of the court.” I finally had a hearing, which was actually several hearings that were pushed back repeatedly combined into an excruciating day-long hearing, 13 months after my ex-husband attempted drinking and driving with the children. Even though I had evidence of child abuse, I was still given 4 days of jail time suspended for denying parenting time.
A transcript of my hearing can be found at https://thisgracefulmess.wordpress.com/2014/05/25/wait-til-you-see-what-the-ottawa-county-focs-been-up-to/ There’s so much more to my story but it’s taken quite a while to recover from the trauma of Engle threatening me with going to jail or losing my kids for years. He needs to be removed and replaced by writing in Robert Mol who will put the children first!

Domestic Violence: The gift that keeps on giving

I’ve experienced many of the after affects that are discussed in this article during my recovery from abuse. Unfortunately, the abuse is allowed to continue through family court. Financial abuse and verbal attacks in front of my children are the norm in my case and most others. I’ve found my voice and try to fight back with truth, but the court doesn’t take kindly to parents who stand up for justice for their kids.

Please do what you can to support the women who’ve been through the shiz. I know it’s difficult to talk about and you don’t know what to say when she shares her struggles. But just a phone call can make all the difference in her broken world.

http://thinkprogress.org/health/2014/09/26/3571723/domestic-violence-long-term-effects/


Try

What a beautiful message for all of us in our gracefulMesses!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXoZLPSw8U8#action=share


So this happened today…

So we moved about 2 1/2 years ago about an hour away from my hometown to marry the man I loved.  While, in hindsight, there were red flags that I chose to ignore, I loved this man with all of my heart, more so than anything I’d ever felt for my ex-husband.  He moved us here, called my boys his kids, said he loved us and offered me the world.  I was his “miracle”, he said, our second chance at a happy life together.  Anyone who’s been through a divorce knows that there’s a period of crazy that you will go through and nothing but time will cure “the shiz” as I call it.  Well, this man was NOT through his shiz no matter how much I wanted to believe that he was.  I also had some of my shiz dredged up when losing my home and moving, picking at old scabs and starting the bleeding again.  Each time the scab gets picked, you learn better how to control the bleeding but for the first year, you just need a lot of grace.

After we were here about 2 months, he began to wig out about really small things.  His anxiety levels were so much higher than I had seen from an hour away.  Living around the corner from him and spending more time together as a family, I could see the red flags more and more.  And now, I’ve moved my boys to a new school and they are developing new friends, full of hope of having a complete family unit with new siblings they adored.  What now?

In the meantime, my van was on it’s last leg.  I had been making jokes for months about how I was going to pick out a lovely tree for it’s ultimate demise if I couldn’t make it last until my taxes came back in the spring.  Funny, right?  Well, not so much when a deer ran in front of me, grazed my hood and took off into the marshy woods on a foggy morning.  I felt the wheels beneath me rise up and prepared for the roll.  But there was a small tree that I grazed the passenger side that miraculously put the tires back on the ground.  The guy who saw it happen stopped and helped call for help.  I do not remember shaking so much in my life.  He called my love for me since I couldn’t seem to function.  My love sent his mother instead.  A few short days later, after acting strangely, he decided to go to the crash site with his son and had come to the conclusion that I had crashed my van on purpose.  Nevermind the blood on the hood of the van from the deer and that the police and insurance adjuster found no fraud.  This would change how he felt about me as a person, I was told, and he needed time to himself.

We were devastated.  But, I put on my best gracefulMess smile, changed my relationship status on FB, and tried to keep us together.  The boys were sobbing, and I mean SOBBING, every day.  Watching their pain was worse than losing my love.  We went back and forth for a couple of months, getting back together, breaking up…until I finally couldn’t take it anymore.  I began working full time for the first time in 10 years and also going to school 2 nights a week with about 10 more hours of homework.  I took all of this on because he had committed to helping me.  But now, my boys were reeling and I was getting sicker by the day.  I knew I was exhausted but who wouldn’t be with all of this going on.  I just kept putting one foot in front of the other.  My period lasted for 7 weeks straight with very heavy hemorrhaging and I became severely anemic.  According to livestrong.com, a normal hemoglobin level for a non-pregnant adult woman is between 12.1 and 15.1 g/dL…mine was at 6.1.  In an adult, a normal blood iron level is 60 to 170 mcg/dl. On average, women have slightly lower iron levels…however, mine was 8!  Red and white blood counts were crazy off the charts.  I was passing out 1-2 times per day, jaundiced and almost transparent pale, and was hospitalized for two days.  (A special thanks to my bestie who came and cleaned my house quickly because she knew my mom was coming to take care of the boys and would FREAK at the mess in my condo!  My mom still cleaned when she got here!)  Thankfully the transfusions worked eventually, but not before a barrage of tests, including for lupus and MS.  Thankfully, I’ve learned to control all of the things that got me into such a terrible state and I’m much healthier and stronger now.

During this time, this man never checked on me, never checked on the boys, and never even said goodbye.  He offered no explanation to his family or our church lifegroup other than, “they’re busy and can’t make it today.”  When a few of his family members found out, they tried to talk to him but he said he wouldn’t talk about it.  They had been asking him to get help for years but he refused.  When I questioned him, he offered no reasons why other than, “I want to be alone!  I have free will and I’m choosing sin!”…as I was reading his newly renewed match.com profile.

A few short months later, he began dating another woman.  She has two little redhead boys and drives the same kind of car as I do (the one I replaced the van I apparently crashed on-purpose with).  She happens to go to my sister-in-law’s church in a town about 45 minutes from here…such irony.  I heard he was getting married and thought maybe he already had until this morning…

This morning, we went to both services at church because we were on for kids worship both services.  While taking my time between services, his mother came up to me and asked if I remembered her. (I didn’t know that she began attending my church!)  Of course, I told her, letting her know that I was doing well and updated her on some of the things in my life.  She said that her son is getting married today.  Today!  On the anniversary of my divorce!  Fantastic.  She went on to give details of how she will help get his kids (the kids I loved and thought would be my own) to the church and other details I really didn’t care to know.

With my gracefulMess smile on my face, I politely listened as if it didn’t hurt my heart all over again.  Looking at the faces of my boys as they recognized her and then heard her tell of his wedding, I could see their pain begin to resurface.  We had a good boo-hoo session when we got home and talked through our hurts.  Today has picked at a scab that I thought had scarred over.  It had not.  So I bleed a little bit again today, but I will not allow it to last very long.  Instead I will let the bleeding spill through my fingers onto the keyboard and tell a little more of my story while he gets married this afternoon.  This, in hopes that my story can somehow encourage another.  Though your heart may be broken, you will heal.  There will be setbacks.  There will be crazy.  There will be more shiz to work through.  But the Lord, He loves us and has never let us go.  I don’t think he’s gonna stop today.

 

My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever
. Psalm 73:26


Stronger…kinda

Stronger…kinda

It’s been a while since I’ve been able to get my thoughts together here. And for those who’ve prayed for us, I will write about our hearing soon. It’s been a couple of weeks of just trying to heal from the fear of possible jail time. Each time I go back to court, you’d think it would get easier. It doesn’t. I should have some kind of honorary law degree by now. Maybe another girl scout badge at the very least!

I’m beginning to resurface and in many ways, I feel like a completely new person. I’ve allowed myself to dream again and to look at a completely different path for us. There are a few dreams that I should know better than to allow myself to have right now. And for that, I will try not to beat myself up for right now. We’ll focus on the One who has brought us this far! I’m now strong enough to run again…well, we’ll use that term loosely as I still struggle with the sludge-in-my-veins anemia issue. But I’m moving forward and getting artsy again. I think we just might be seeing some light at the end of the tunnel. And this…this makes me smile!


Motive for family court systems

Motive for family court systems

If the Friend if the Court can stir up enough dissension in an already broken family, they use it as an excuse to take the children away. And with the only law being “the best interest of the children” that leaves a lot open for interpretation….and virtually nobody overseeing what’s going on in the courtrooms and behind the scenes. Click on the link above to see how it works.