Wait til you see what the Ottawa County FOC’s been up to…

I am entering, yet again, into another court date on June the 9th.  I have said since last fall that the FOC is going to push this out until the summer and then throw me in jail so that they can justify it without taking my kids out of school.  Guess what June 9 is… Yup!  My kids’ last day of school.  We have more false claims of denial by my ex-husband, who has not paid a dime of support since the last hearing and the FOC has chosen to come after me for not paying $100 for the drug test they helped him fake with no documentation or receipts. (It was paid last week – and I recorded the t  He is approximately $14,000 behind in support but they lowered and backdated his support obligations based not on facts or laws but on the numbers my ex has provided them with.  They have swept $6000 of back childcare under the rug and flat out ignored my receipts for the last two years.  I have filed the motions they’ve said to file, and listened to their lies, watch them change their “policies” with no written documentation, paid for “mediators” who turn out to be FOC lawyers going to bat for Father’s Rights Groups and have come to the conclusion that this is just the FOC allowing my ex-husband to continue his domestic abuse through their system.

They are also holding me in contempt of court for another denial of parenting time – 45 minutes! When my ex-husband refused to get out of the car and show me he was sober…which is his court order to prove sobriety before and during his parenting time.

This last round began in Winter 2013 when I stopped my ex from drinking and driving with my children.  Instead of being applauded for stopping child abuse (see links below), I have been berated, yelled at by an FOC “parent coordinator”, coerced into a voluntary psychological evaluation which I passed with flying colors (a favorite tactic of the Father’s Rights groups) and harassed repeatedly.

Click to access DUI_Child_Endangerment_Overview.pdf

http://statelaws.findlaw.com/michigan-law/michigan-child-abuse-laws.html

I am now posting the transcripts of my hearing that was sent to me by the court transcriptionist to back my claims and make them public.  These are a matter of public record and anyone can obtain a transcript of these hearings.  I’m posting them unaltered because I believe that as tax-payers, you should be aware of what is going on and because I need your support.  I am only one mom, who refuses to be abused and intimidated any longer.  This has gone on for almost five and a half years and I’m tired of the games and lies.  This is my life and the lives of my children they are playing with.  Over this next week, I’ll be posting my documentation so that you can see for yourselves what my children and I have endured.

I am posting a screenshot of my email inbox showing the attached transcripts and how many MB the document is so you can see the only alteration I have made are to remove any personal addresses – for the safety of my family and my ex-husband. And then I’m attaching the actual document of the transcripts that were sent to me. It’s a long read as we were there all day covering 5 different motions.  (they pushed back all of my motions with denials of rulings and postponements.)

This hearing was actually 5 hearings in one. The court refused to rule on January 13, 2014 regarding my ex-husband not taking his drug test as ordered on September 6, 2013 and for not paying child support.  I begged the judge for a ruling on the child support as he hadn’t paid anything since October and I didn’t know what we would do for another 2 months with no money.  His response to me was, “If I ruled today, I would have to put him in jail.  Is that what you want?!”  My response back was, “No.  I just need him to pay his support.”

Please pm me with your thoughts and if you’re able to support us in this fight.

Click here for transcripts fischerf3.14

Banana Bread and BS

I loved being home with my boys.  Being an “opt-out mom” and homeschool them for the short time I did was such a gift!  To see the little lightbulbs come on above their heads when learning something new brought so much joy to my soul.  But the time for watching them discover who they are over home-baked banana bread and hot chocolate from scratch is over.  I still get some of these wonderful moments.  It’s just in smaller increments now.

The last week they’ve been away for spring break and with their dad this weekend.  It took this entire week of doing nothing to start to peel off the layers of BS placed on me by my ex and the FOC.  I feel something new on the horizon, like another rebirth of my life, yet again.  That underlying excitement of something good to come, the fear of the change and how I will make it all work out best for the boys, the discomfort and pain of having to do without and struggle as I work through work and exams.  I cannot afford to continue working where I work, nor the BS that comes with it.  It is not good for my heart, nor my wallet.  I’m re-registering for school and am being much more aggressive with the schedule so I can finish and support the boys on my own.  I clearly cannot count on their father to do his part, nor the court to enforce his parental obligations.  And so I adjust once again.

In anticipation of them coming home, I’ve been weeding through their room and mine, purging junk and cleaning.  They have fresh sheets, fresh stuffed animals to snuggle and next week, we will paint the furniture together and make room for my youngest’s new turtle.  It’s taken longer than I’ve anticipated.  It’s like I have to shovel off the BS before I can get to anything meaningful these days.  I have banana bread in the oven and the house smells amazing, bringing me back to those days of chubby little hands learning to write their letters.  I can almost hear their, “Mommy, what if…?” and “Mommy, how’s that…?”  I miss those little guys about as much as I cherish the young men they are becoming.

Wading through the trials of abuse and divorce doesn’t have to change you completely.  It has changed my circumstances but not the core of who I am.  I was determined to hold onto the good parts of me while sloughing off the jagged edges left by someone who was too damaged to live his life sober.  The fact that we’ve made it this far is only by the grace of God!  So for today, I’ll enjoy both the banana bread and the BS as we head towards an even better life.

Time for some outside help…

Please pray for me again tomorrow. I’m hopefully getting some help with a new lawyer. My parents have offered some help and I will drain my 401K if it means keeping the boys and I together and safe!

I will be posting the details from my court case, especially the events of the last year.  These are public files and anyone has access through the Freedom of Information Act.  I think it’s important to shed light on exactly what happens when you use Friend of the Court. Since the divorce rate is over 50% now, it’s important to understand that you are just a number, they don’t care about the details of your life or who’s playing by the rules, and it’s a BIG business!

Recovering from Court

It has been a very difficult few days. Reliving the abuse by questioning my ex-husband on the stand regarding the abuse to get it on record was so difficult. Watching him blatantly lie on the stand and have people watch it and do nothing – almost cheering him on – is a very helpless feeling. It usually takes a day or two to recover but I am still physically drained. I was so fortunate to have the love and support that I had with me – about a dozen people came with me and many more were there in spirit. Thank you to everyone who helped us get through this day! Please continue to pray for the boys and for me. It feels like this will never, ever end.

The CrAzY Cycle

My posts will be a little sporadic as I approach another hearing with Friend of the Court on March 14.  This was postponed from January 13, which was postponed from September 6, which was postponed from June, which was pushed back from April after a hearing in February of 2013 where I let the court know my ex-husband tried to drive with my children while severely intoxicated, yet again.  (during a winter storm warning, no less!)  Court is the gift that keeps on giving.  The more I post, the more you will hear me preach about putting your big-girl pants on and mediate the heck out of your divorce!  Do NOT play in the courts/lawyers sandbox if at all possible!  I, unfortunately do not have this luxury as there is a third party driving this process and drugs and alcohol are a factor.  When dealing with an addict, you may as well be negotiating with a toddler.  But if you have two relatively sane, although wounded, adults who both love their children dearly, you should be able to negotiate and realize that nobody will EVER win in these situations.  (least of all the children)

So my feathers were ruffled again today upon learning the boys’ child support was lowered by $500/month…with no judges orders!!! and an upcoming hearing on this lumped in with the other issues.  Not that we’ve received any child support since October anyway.  But FOC made it retroactive to November, lowering his arrearage so that my ex-husband has no consequences right now.  Lovely. 

I just saw an upcoming movie trailer for “God’s Not Dead” and an amazing calm came over me tonight.  GOD. HAS. GOT. THIS!  Why are these unscrupulous people shocking me with the same behavior that they’ve shown over the last five years?  Why would I expect anything more out of the people who’ve made a mockery out of the justice system, keeping the real issues away from the judges and not protecting the kids?  HE will take care of us just as He has done for the last five years!  He hasn’t let us drown yet!  I want my faith to rise up again to where it once was and put my hope in Him!  Going up against things that seem insurmountable and facing jail for protecting my children seems like it’s just too much.  But it’s not for Him!  It’s not.  For Him.